He Don’t Wanna Be Saved. By You.

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“Women who are spiritual tend to attract men who want to be saved.” Yeah, aight.

I often joke that Christians sometimes have a “save complex”. We basically want to save any and every person we run into for the good of the kingdom. It’s almost a race to see who can save the most people on a exponential level. Like God keeps score, you know what I mean?

All jokes aside, I do think there is something to the idea that people who are “spiritual” have a capacity to attract those around them who want, in some way, to be saved.

We’re often taught that through are actions, we shine light on His kingdom. And like fireflies, people are attracted to that light.

But, we don’t have the capacity to save people. We can push folk in that direction but at the end of it all, God saves people. We all have a saving complex. We have to learn how — and where — to use it.

In the midst of that energy, we often should remind ourselves that you can’t always subscribe to that belief. Especially when it comes to relationships.

When a man pines for our attention, we tend to think of it all from a good space. But in reality, he wants you because you provide something that he’s not getting anywhere else.

And it’s all bad.

Here’s the question that you should ask yourself: does he wanna be saved from something or someone? Whatever answer it is, you should run.

It’s not to be saved to be better, it’s to be saved from a bad relationship. It’s to be saved from misery. Not from bad decisions but bad people. Not to live a better life but to live a better life outside of someone else.

I used to think that I was saving men from their misery. What I was really doing was giving men a temporary fix to their problems. I’d save you for a night, not for the rest of your life (if you took your vows to the chest). I was an escape not a permanent hideout.

Throwing out life vests to dudes who I’d think were drowning in the deep end when really in the kiddie pool the entire time. They just needed to get the hell out of their own waters.

And I just needed to get the hell out of my own way.

This is part of my attempt to write every day in July. You can follow the series here.

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