I’m so tired that I don’t think I can even finish writing this. But when you hold yourself up to a standard, you have to come through. Because the streets are watching.
When I started “Write Every Day in July”, I had very low expectations for myself. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d get to this point. I thought I’d quit by day two.
I’ve tried to do things like this before. Most of the time, my mind shuts off and I don’t do anything else. I have a hard time holding myself up to some standards especially when it comes to creativity.
In short, I think that everything I write pretty much sucks.
When you have to write and publish everyday — publish is key here — to the masses, you have no choice but to live with what you’ve done. For me, I have to live with the fact that what you may think is great is absolutely trash to me.
Like, this is trash.
I thought I was going to come in and write creative, high-quality stories. Riffs about popular culture. A story or two about sports. I thought I was going to make something thought-provoking, challenging. You never write to go viral but if that happens, great. Secretly, yeah, you want something to blow.
My first story did. Sorta.
I wrote about “4:44”, the track from Jay-Z’s new album that stunned the world. It was relevant, timely. People rocked with it. I was glad.
My stories about B2K? Not so much.
I’ve written things that I have went somewhat viral in the past. Those stories can’t compare. But what I am noticing is that “Write Every Day In July” is challenging my brain. Every day I think about my life, my struggles. Every day I ask myself “what can I share with the world?” I’m used to giving my testimony but not like this. This I have to think about.
And even if I write about how writing every day has been a welcome challenge, that counts.
Because I have to write. 24 more days to go.
This is part of my attempt to write every day in July. You can follow the series here.