There is death in solitude.
“You like to disappear. Like you could be in the Bahamas somewhere and we’d never know.”
When things get really hard in my life, I run away. It’s easier to retreat than it is to face my trials and tribulations head on. It’s a crippling fault to have in a world that can and will eat you alive if you don’t face your fears. The fears I have are crippling on their own.
For the past two days, I have been in community. I forced myself to be around people that I love in order to shake these thoughts and feelings that come with voluntary solitude. When you’re alone, you tend to think the worst. All you own is your mind and your thoughts tend to occupy your time. In that space, every little damaging thought you possess bounces from each wall inside your brain. Screams don’t work; those thoughts get louder.
It’s painful to run. I need to sit still. In community.
What I learn in community is that I don’t have time to think about what hurts. I have faces to remembers laughs to achieve. I have fellowship to conjure up, hugs to give. It isn’t about me. It’s about the person sitting across from me. Someone who is dealing with those same feelings and who needs to see a face as well.
What joy comes from seeing a face that you love.
You learn very early as a Christian that two people are better than one when it comes to fighting your demons. You can’t go into battle alone, you need partners. In prayer or in purpose, you need a cavalry around you. Why? Because when you stumble, you have a hand to catch you. When you doubt, you have a voice to squash those seeds. When you want to quit, you have someone running the race beside you, encouraging you to never give up.
God did not build us to be alone. We should act on his work.